Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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