I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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