so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
