i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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