Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
