I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
