i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
