remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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