Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
