she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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