Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
