So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
