What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
