I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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