Your tits are I can't wait for
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
