It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
