i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
