I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
