please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
