i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
