I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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