She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
