he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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