All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think my moral compass just broke
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
