I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
