atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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