New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
