He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
