just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
