Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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