He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
