ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
