I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
