Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
