Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
