This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
