In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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