in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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