Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
