It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
