how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
