I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
