In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
