what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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