I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
