She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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