How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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