So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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