I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
