this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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