Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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