"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
