If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
